I'm scared for my life - in real life!
CALL THE COPS!
If you have a real life stalker, an abusive ex, a crazy person who decided that your online disagreements require physical confrontation, call the police now, not later! Don't worry about FetLife being "outted" - we work with law enforcement around the globe on a frequent basis. If there is stuff happening on FetLife that relates to that, tell them, and have them contact us at email@example.com.
We know, law enforcement is not the same all over, and what works great in one place may not do so well the next jurisdiction over - but that is what they are there for - you know, the whole "Protect and Serve" thing!
Seriously - our reach extends as far as this system. A few kinksters scattered around the globe can do wonders when it comes to an online social network, but we can't replace the role of the police and legal system. If the other person is vandalizing your car, causing a scene at your munch, stalking you at work, etc., you need physical, on-the-ground support!